I took a lunchtime bike ride and discovered this tumbledown wreck of a fitness circuit right at the gateway to UMKC campus. I’d noticed it before, but hadn’t gotten close enough to truly appreciate how brokedown and busted it actually is. Astoundingly, there were two groups of people actually attempting to use the equipment. I’d be scared to death to even try; if you’re lucky, all you’d get is a butt full of splinters, but it looks more likely that the rotten equipment would collapse under you.
In case you are an adventurous soul looking for a place for a lunchtime workout, let’s take a brief tour.
First, we have the leg press station:

Watch for splinters!
Next, perhaps, some hamstring stretches? Oh, sorry — looks like you can’t stretch your hamstrings today.

Out of order
Shoulder stretches? You’re out of luck there, too.

Maybe if you stretch r-e-e-e-al low to the ground...
Dips are out of the question…

Mmmmm... dip.
… as are leg lifts.

You can lift the right leg, but not the left.
But wait! Here’s something that actually looks sort of functional. If you want to, you can do a sit up or two… as long as you aren’t put off by the thought of clunking headfirst onto the concrete when the seat inevitably collapses.

I'm sure this will hold if you work out gently...
Don’t get your hopes up that you might get a real workout, though. Here’s the pull-ups station.

Can you reach the branch?
I think that’s enough pictures to make my point. How on earth this scary deathtrap of an exercise circuit continues to exist in these litigious days, quietly rotting into a pile of flesh-spearing splinters, absolutely mystifies me. You’d think that fear of a lawsuit would make UMKC or Menorah fix this thing up, if not the sheer embarrassment of having their names associated with this mess right at the gateway of campus.
The weather was looking ominous on the ride home, so I took the shortest route possible. It started raining about halfway home, but stopped after five minutes. Very windy, though — looks like a cold front coming through. We’ve been lucky to make it to November in shorts and t-shirts. I’m afraid it’ll be time to break out the jackets again soon.
Total Mileage: 6.36 miles